So yesterday I punched a woman in the grocery store…well no, I didn’t for reals, but I wanted to. She was behind me in the check out line and insisted on ramming her trolley into me every time the queue moved forward. When it finally came time to pay, she had offloaded all the items in her trolley, amongst mine, before I’d even finished unpacking. I debated turning around real slow, and giving her my most unimpressed and scathing look…but I just couldn’t! Why? What is wrong with me? I will be polite to the utmost degree, regardless of how I am feeling. I will never forget, years ago, getting a lift home with a friend’s dad, as I climbed into the car, my friend accidentally slammed the door on my thumb – within 2 minutes it had swollen so much I felt it might burst, the throbbing was so acute I felt the need to drown it with small talk lest they heard it, like a drum beat emitting from my swollen thumb. I chatted all the way home, despite being in tremendous pain, I almost passed out when I caught a glimpse of my thumb nail turning black and blue, it was like discovering Frankenstein attached to my hand! Only once I’d cheerfully waved goodbye (with that awful hysterical mix of laughter and tears), did I finally succumb to the agony and cry, silent tears, dripping down my face as I walked to the front door. Today, I had a guy phone me up wanting to sell me health insurance, I was not interested but politely listened to his well rehearsed speech for 5 minutes, I was about to hang up when he went on to list 7 types of cancer, covered by the policy he was trying to sell. I admired the confidence with which he listed cancer of the vagina, I even managed a polite laugh when he pointed out that I was ’32 years young’ when all I really wanted was for him to shut the hell up and leave me alone. Sigh. Well I showed these Sweetcorn fritters whose boss!
This makes for such a delicious starter, your guests will literally want to lick their fingers off. The warm corn fritters are laced with coriander and spring onion, and still warm, are dunked into the most heavenly sweet, salty, hot and sour dipping sauce with cucumber and red chilli. Make it now…er…please…
Sweetcorn Fritters with Thai Dipping Sauce
Adapted from ‘ Supper Club’ by Kerstin Rodgers
Makes 10-12 fritters
1 tin whole kernel corn, drained or 300g cooked fresh sweetcorn kernels
3 tbsp cornflour/Maizena
3 tbsp flour
1 xl free-range egg, lightly beaten
4 spring onions, finely sliced
Handful of fresh coriander leaves, roughly chopped
1 tsp sea salt
1/2 tsp freshly ground black pepper
20ml water (if necessary, to bind the ingredients)
About 200ml canola or sunflower oil for frying
Cucumber Dipping Sauce
100ml white wine vinegar
100g castor sugar
1 1/2 tbsp water
2 tsp Nam Pla fish sauce (Vegetarians can omit this, but check the salt level)
1 small mediterranean cucumber, peeled and very finely diced
1-2 red chillies, thinly sliced
To make the dipping sauce, gently heat the vinegar, sugar and water in a small saucepan until the sugar has dissolved. Stir in the fish sauce, cucumber and chillies and simmer for 10 minutes. Allow to cool, and pour into small saucers or ramekins. Set aside until needed.
In a bowl, mix the sweetcorn with the cornflour and flour. Add the beaten egg and season with the salt and pepper. Add the spring onions and coriander and stir until the mixture comes together – if it’s too dry, add the water to help bind it.
Heat the oil in a large frying pan over a medium heat. When the oil is hot, drop tablespoonfuls of the mixture into the pan to make circular fritters. They don’t have to be perfect circles, in fact I like them to look a bit more rustic. You may have to fry them in batches.
Fry for a few minutes on each side, gently flattening them, until golden. Remove from the pan and drain on kitchen paper. Repeat with the rest of the batter. These are best served immediately, or can be reheated when needed.
serve with the dipping sauce.