When I am feeling really down, I like to watch trashy tv shows. For reals. Recently I was introduced to a show – with the catchy title: I was bitten. Intriguing, I thought. Bitten by what? After all, there are so many things to be bitten by; love, mosquitos,the travel bug, or in this case, fierce, ferocious, deadly, wild animals. Now let me just say right off the bat – I do not wish suffering on any human being, even the really, really bad ones – but the people on this show are so incredibly stupid I almost think they deserve whatever bites them. In a recent episode, this guy, touring China decides to go and check out some Asian elephants. Does he go to a game park, with real guides? No. Instead, he catches a bus and travels for 5 hours to some remote forest – where incidentally, not a single local is caught wandering about in , and proceeds to go in search of the beasts. After trekking for some time, he finally stumbles upon four of these majestic animals. Instead of retreating, he whips out his camera and begins to take pictures of them – at one point he describes being so close to the elephants, he is straining his neck to photograph them. This is the point at which I started to laugh. What the hell was this guy smoking? Crack? It gets better.He decides that since he has had such a spiritual experience, having stood so close to these massive creatures, he would like to reach out and touch one. Yes, I know. Insane. From this point the wild elephants, who have tolerated just about enough of this moron, proceed to kick, and beat the guy to within an inch of his life. Judging by the shape he was in, he sure made them mighty angry! During this whole account, the poor guy looks absolutely shocked and bewildered. What did he expect? To climb up on one of the animals backs and ride it out of the forest? To train it to balance on one leg? These are wild animals in their natural habitat, not a freakin’ Disney theme park.
Sometimes when I’m really down, I like to make these noodle tarts. Not only are they really easy to prepare, but they are delicious hot or cold – and would make a really tasty addition to your next picnic. They also don’t bite. Unless you want them to. If you are a vegetarian, omit the tuna, they’ll still be good.
Tuna Noodle Tarts
Recipe from: My Aunt Mary
Makes 12 regular muffin size tarts or 6 giant muffin tarts
125g Ribbon noodles (Tagliatelle) cooked and drained
2 xl free-range eggs, beaten
170g can evaporated milk (I couldn’t find the small can, so I used half of a 370g can)
1 onion, grated
200g can Tuna, drained and flaked
125g cheddar cheese, grated
1/2 tsp salt
A generous pinch of Cayenne pepper
150g mixed frozen vegetables (I used peas, corn and carrots), cooked. If using frozen carrots, once cooked, cut them into smaller pieces.
Preheat the oven to 200C. Spray 12 holes of a regular size muffin pan, or 6 in a giant muffin tin, with non-stick spray. Combine all the ingredients in a large bowl and stir until thoroughly combined. Spoon into the well-greased muffin tin. Bake for 25-3o minutes, until they are nicely browned and no longer runny. Delicious with a nice green, or potato salad, or on their own.